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Kitchen Humor: Best Jokes to Use in the Kitchen

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The kitchen is a gathering place, a sacred space where family and friends come together to enjoy food, drink and each other's company. It's a place where conversations are lively, impassioned, and as varied as the spices in your pantry.

A common thread tying together many of our most memorable kitchen memories, however, is humor. Like food, it is also brings people together. So next time you're at a dinner party, preparing a meal for friends or sneaking a midnight snack with a loved one, why not pop open a bottle of vino with your Oster® Electric Wine Opener and share some classic kitchen jokes?

The delicate art of cooking
Some have a knack for cooking ... and others just have to practice it a little bit more. Whatever your skill level, the art of cooking is ripe for slip-ups, surprising successes and family secrets.

Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is?" Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him. Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!"
Paul Kavanagh, Paulkavanagh.com

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. 'I got a cook book once', said the first, 'but I could never do anything with it.' 'Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?' asked the second. 'You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and...'

"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
-- W.C. Fields, Reader's Digest

Sandy and Norman were in despair. Their 3-year-old son Timmy still had not learned how to talk. Not a word had escaped through those now 3-year-old lips. One night at dinner, Timmy took a taste of his pie, and to their utter surprise and amazement, said: "You call this pie? It tastes like some tasteless mush!" Sandy and Norman sat there in shock, for this was not just their son's first sentence, but the first words he ever uttered! Once the initial shock had subsided, Norman asked "tell me Timmy, how come you never spoke until now?" "I never had any reason to" explained Timmy. "Everything was always fine."

jokesShare these jokes the next time you're hanging out in the kitchen.

Finicky food
Food sustains us, but it also entertains us.

"I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2,000 of something."
Mitch Hedburg, Buzzfeed.com

"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. "
George Miller, Reader's Digest

Q: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?
A: I'm not telling you. You might spread it!

"They say to never go to the grocery store when you're hungry, but I ran out of food a week ago and don't know what to do."
--Dan Mintz, Rebrn.com

Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes?
A: They'd crack each other up!